lately it's been kinda hard to make plans with my friends. i've been feeling frustrated with another friend of mine. on friday my two other friends and i debriefed this actually. he never wants to go out and do anything. all we do is go to our other friends house and even then he's literally just scrolling on his phone. which wouldn't make me so upset if he wasn't making these elaborate plans to go to the river or downtown or to the fair with his other friends. not to mention if we do make plans to, y'know go somewhere do something, he's canceled every time. one time i invited him and another friend to go see a movie and he said yes only if i was paying (which is fine that's not the problem i'm always happy to pay) so i buy the tickets. then night of he backed out cause him and his boyfriend wanted to watch it first time together. fine whatever we went with my friends brother instead. then a couple days ago he was like "oh we actually never ended up seeing it" like what? anyways, i always knew he liked his other friends more than us, but it still stings. whenever he works he always begs us to come visit him cause it's so boring. i swear to god we've visited him at least four times since he started working there. yet when i ask him to visit me he always has an excuse. i think he came by once, but of course it wasn't actually to see me it was for his other friends to get drinks. he was so quick to leave. also for context we work at the same place. to be fair though he's not the only one like i've been feeling like this with all my friends. on thursday my friends all made plans to visit me at work. it was supposed to be yesterday, but leading up one by one they all cancelled haha. and i get it things come up, but i feel a bit sad when i know i would go to see them every time if they asked me. it is my fault for caring too much about this or them, like i know i'm the second choice, but what can i do. i feel like this sounds like i hate my friends no they're great i just like to complain.
life has been mellow lately. i'm still working. i feel more tired than usual. i need to eat more. i've been slacking on coding it's really bad. i just don't care anymore. like whether i update or not i don't know and feel nothing about it really. i felt an urge to write a blog entry though so maybe this is the start of something productive. i'm supposed to go thrifting with my friend today and go eat korean fried chicken. i told her to lmk when she's awake, but it's 3:00 PM and she's still asleep/not texted me and i'm getting lethargic. my favorite song right now is brand new chanel$ by slayyyter. it's so good oh my god.
oh i made a new friend potentially! my coworker and he asked me to cut and dye his hair this week. he's this seventeen-year-old boy and he's so fucking funny/ridiculous. is this what having a younger brother is like? ugh i need to watch a movie today. okay i'm going to go eat something byee.